Do you like dull stuff?

Well, you are in for a treat!

*Warning* this post is guaranteed to be DULL. There’s no illustration advice cos it’s the school holidays, and I am taking a few days off to potter around. 

Day 1 of the holidays: My daughter, Pie, nearly 16, and I decided to declutter our wardrobes and bung some stuff on Vinted. I was in charge of ironing and photography while she did the posting. It’s been 12 hours since we listed our stuff, and we have made £196. We are splitting the winnings 50/50. If I earn enough, I will get some Toast joggers I have my eye on. I could buy them anyway, but there’s something strangely satisfying about only allowing myself them if we earn enough on our Vinted venture. Pie wants to get herself a new phone (her old one is playing up)/ trainers, or ‘loads of random things’.

We had spaghetti for tea last night, then Gerry headed into the kitchen while Pie and I watched some crime drama on the telly. From the sound coming from the kitchen, Pie and I agreed that he was either using the whisk or an electric toothbrush. It was the whisk! He made an impromptu 9 pm chocolate cake! Pie and I abandoned watching Vera to eat cake instead. We agreed we didn’t care who the murderer was anyway.

I told you this was a boring newsletter, but it’s the school holidays; this is the sort of stuff we’re up to. Lump it.

Katie Chappell

had a party on Saturday. Oh, this wasn’t boring; it was a brilliant party that involved haggis, neeps, tatties and bad poetry. What more can you ask for from a party? The invite said ‘shabby Scottish’ dress code, and I thought about wearing something tartan, but I decided that would be annoying to my Glaswegian partner (who never ever wears tartan). An English person wearing tartan, that’s a no. So then my mind wandered to English people in Scotland who annoy the Scotts, and my mind landed on the Queen at Balmoral. So I nipped to the charity shop and bagged myself an M&S sweater, a sensible, knee-length brown checked skirt, one of those navy padded riding jackets (that I cut the sleeves off) and a silk headscarf. I had wellies and pearls at home already. 

The Queen at Balmoral

I totally freaked my anti-monarchist partner out. He couldn’t even look at me; he said it was uncanny, worse than a Halloween costume!

It wasn’t a fancy dress party, BTW. But you have to take your opportunities to wind up your partner of 30 years where you can! 😂 

For the second morning in a row, I got up to find Peggy, our 12-year-old Bedlington/ Patterdale cross had, as my Grandma would have put it, ‘done her business’ in both kitchens.* Anyway, shite everywhere! I spent the first half hour of each day cleaning up after her. 

What’s in store for today? My Asda shopping list says pepper and toothpaste. Plus, there are the Vinted parcels to post. I bet you are glad you stuck around to the very last sentence 😂

What did you have for your tea? Seen any good crime drama recently? How’s your dog? What’s on your shopping list?

Bye for now.

Helenx 

Oh, wait! Something exciting has happened this morning! The podcast I recorded with Giuseppe at The Illustration Department is out!

*Long story, we had a new kitchen built in another room, and we are yet to pull out the old one, so we are a two kitchen family at the moment. Oh get you Helen, with your fancy two kitchens!